Neptune
by hopelessxoxoromantic
Summary: Four years after the events in "Easier," Riley has graduated from college in California and has decided to return to New York for the summer. Will Riley be able to start a new chapter with her old friends and Lucas, or will the past push her to return to California? Sequel to Easier
1. Chapter 1

**Authors Note: **

HEY EVERYONE I'M BACK! So without further ado...here is chapter one of the sequel to "EASIER" !

* * *

_Flash Forward _

"_Riley, look at me. Is what you want? Is this what you really want?" _

_I looked at him, unable to answer his question. Part of me screaming no of course not, and the other telling me that maybe this was for the best. But no part of me tried to speak. _

"_Okay Riley. I get it." He said, before walking out the apartment and slamming the door behind him. _

**Present Day: **

I kept folding and unfolding my hands as we got closer and closer to my parent's apartment. It had been four years since I set foot in New York. I had just graduated from college and now I was finally returning home for the summer.

The cab pulled up to front of the apartment and I got out, thanking him. I stared at the building in front of me.

"Hey, come on you got this. Your parents are probably waiting." Evan whispered, grabbing my hand.

We walked up the stairs, and towards the front door. I took a deep breath before knocking on the door.

"Come in honey! Its open!" My dad yelled from the other side of the door. I grabbed the door knob and pushed the door open.

"SURPRISE!

My eyes scanned, taking in all the faces of my old friends, before landing on Lucas Friar, who was holding a bouquet of flowers.

Farkle obviously stunned, and unable to come up with any words to say just blew on his party horn.

Zay, pointing at Evan as he leaned on the kitchen counter simply asked, "Who's that? That over there. Who's that?"

"Riley, honey. Why don't you introduce Evan?" my mom suggested

"Um…hi everyone. I wasn't expecting a welcome home party." I was rambling. "This is um…uh Evan. My um…boyfriend."

Almost instantly, I heard something fall to the floor. The flowers Lucas once held in his hand were now on the floor and Lucas was heading towards the front door, Zay followed behind him.

"Lucas, wait. You don't have to leave." I grabbed his hand before he walked out.

"Yeah, man. It's totally cool, really. There's no problem here." Evan interjected.

Ignoring Evan, Lucas responded, "It's okay Riley. I have to get going. Early class tomorrow."

"Tomorrow is Sunday…and it's the summer… and you already graduated." Zay whispered awkwardly.

Lucas turned to glare at Zay and then returned his gaze to me, "I'm sorry Riley I have to go." And with that he walked out the door.

"I'm sorry Cotton Candy Face, it was nice to see you. But I should go after him and make sure he's okay." Zay said quietly before following Lucas out the door.

I turned to face the rest of my family friends. "Oh, wow Riles, you sure know how to make an entrance." Maya giggled.

The rest of the night happened without event, but it was obvious that everyone was dancing around the subject of Lucas's abrupt departure.

As the night came to the end, I found myself eager to return to my childhood room and be alone with my thoughts.

The living room had cleared. Maya had gone home, promising to help me find a place to live tomorrow and Evan had left to his grandparent's house.

I walked into my room, letting all the memories wash over me. The last time I was here with Lucas, we were peacefully saying goodbye to each other. Now it seemed like we were back to the Senior Year of high school, just with a lot more baggage.

"It's weird being back, huh?" Farkle spoke up behind me.

"Farkle? What are you doing here? I thought everyone had gone home" I responded startled.

"I wanted to make sure you were okay. I know it wasn't exactly the welcome home you were expecting…I wanted to tell you about the surprise party…but…well Topanga is scary." Farkle, said sheepishly

"It's okay, Farkle. Honestly, it was nice to see everyone." I chuckled

"Everyone? Even Lucas?"

"Lucas…is complicated." I struggled to find the right words

"Isn't it always with you two?" Farkle sighed. Sensing he wasn't going to receive any more, Farkle steered the conversation in another direction. "So, Evan? I didn't know he was going to come home with you."

"He's just visiting for the summer. His grandparents needed some help. He starts grad school back in California in the Fall." I replied, feeling a sense of relief. This was an easier topic to discuss.

"And what about you? Are you staying in NY or…?" Farkle pressed "I mean you're looking for an apartment to live in here in NY, right? Leases are usually for 6 or 12 months…so"

"What are you trying to get at Farkle?" I could tell he was dancing around the question he really wanted to ask but I wasn't really in the mood for deep conversation.

"So, what's going to happen to you and Evan?" Farkle blurted out. "Are you going to do the long distance thing? Are you saying you're staying here but really you're going to leave at the end of summer? Have you even decided where you're going to attend grad school? Or are you getting a job?"

"Jesus, Farkle I'm way too tired for this conversation." I responded, annoyed.

"Okay, okay. I can take a hint." Farkle said raising his hands in surrender. "Get some rest Riley"

"Thanks, Farkle. It was nice to see you again." I replied, eager to get to bed.

Before climbing out the window, Farkle turned to me, "For what it's worth Riles, I think you should stay. Complicated Lucas situation and all."

I watched Farkle climb out of the window. He was right, I hadn't actually made any decisions, I wasn't sure off anything except that the situation with Lucas was complicated. It was just complicated enough to make me pack up my stuff and jump on the first airplane back to California.

Lucas P.O.V.

We had made no promises to each other, so I didn't know why I was so upset. I felt the anger radiating through my body. But more than anything, I felt the deep hole in my heart. I hadn't felt this kind of pain since my sophomore year of college. But I couldn't let myself go there.

Instead I tried to remind myself of all the tools I learned in therapy. Even if we hadn't made any explicit promises to each other, Riley & I had this unspoken thing. No matter what, we would find our way back to each other. At least that's what I believed.

"I really enjoy sitting in silence with you. It's not weird or anything. I'm learning so much about myself." Zay spoke up.

I was honestly surprised he had managed to stay silent as long as he did.

"Zay, buddy. I really appreciate you looking after me. But I don't need a babysitter. I'm fine." I muttered.

"No, trust me. I believe you of course…but you know I also believe that you're lying." Zay responded, rolling his eyes.

I knew I had a less than stellar reputation when it came to blowing up, but Zay knew how much I had worked on changing myself and putting my life back on track after high school.

"Zay, I'm going to bed." I responded, getting up to walk towards my room.

"Yeah no problem. I'll just be out here trying to figure what's going on." Zay yelled out. "May have to call for some back-up to figure out the never-ending saga of RILEY AND LUCAS!"

I walked into my room, shaking my head at Zay's antics. I walked over to my closet and pulled out a box, pausing before opening it. Did I really want to open this box tonight? I was already so off kilter, so on edge, I didn't know what effect the contents of the box would have on me.

I shrugged, deciding to go big or go home. I walked over to my bed and sat down, slowly taking the lid of the box.

I pushed the small black box to the other side and picked up the first piece of paper, running my hand over her handwriting.

_Dear Lucas. _


	2. Chapter 2

Riley P.O.V.

I woke up the next morning, eager to put yesterday's homecoming surprise out of my mind. Today I was supposed to go apartment hunting with Maya. I was a little nervous. I hadn't spent any real time with Maya since I left for college.

It wasn't as if she wasn't still my sister. I still talked to her constantly while I was in California. But our relationship did shift after the events of high school and there was still a lot Maya didn't know.

If I was being honest, however, most if not all that Maya didn't know about had to do with Lucas. We had certainly come a long way, but it still felt weird to talk about Lucas to Maya. We both tried to avoid the subject altogether. For me it was discomfort, for Maya it was probably guilt.

My phone interrupted my thoughts. It was Evan. Instantly brightening my mood, I picked up the phone

"Good Morning Riles. I hope you slept well" Evan said.

"Yeah, I slept okay, it's weird being back in my childhood room. It brings back so many memories." I confessed. With Evan there was nothing he didn't know, he knew it all and despite all of it, he stayed.

"I know last night was rough for you Riley. I know how strong you are, don't feel like you have to prove anything by coming back. If you want to go back to California at the end of the summer, that's okay too." Evan responded.

"I like being home, Evan. I missed my parents, Auggie and just New York in general. This is home." I whispered. "Plus, I'm already looking for apartments today."

I knew that Evan was just trying to comfort me, but I also knew part of the reason he said what he did was because he was hoping that I would return to California with him at the end of summer. And while I loved Evan a lot I couldn't put myself in a situation where I was deciding where to live solely because of a boy. I couldn't do it with Lucas, and I wouldn't do it with Evan.

"Okay enough with the heavy. I know you're apartment hunting with Maya today. Do you want to grab breakfast beforehand?" Evan asked, quickly changing the subject.

"Sure, I'll just tell Maya to meet me at the Bakery." I responded, eager to start a new day.

I got ready, just in time to hear my Dad opening the door for Evan. I hurried towards the living room.

"Hi, Sir. It's good to see you again." Evan said, extending his hand to shake Cory's.

Cory ignored the hand, simply shaking his head and muttering "I guess I really gotta get use to this new guy…"

"Dad!" I scolded. My dad had met Evan before. My dad knew about Evan and even met him briefly during graduation but my Dad would always be…well my Dad.

"Let's go Evan!" I said, grabbing his hand and walking out the door.

"Your dad really doesn't like me huh?" Evan asked, bemused.

"Don't take it personally Evan, you could be prince charming and my Dad would still believe you were his sworn nemesis, put on this earth solely to destroy him." I chuckled, while adding mentally, that he was still probably upset at what Lucas had put me through.

We walked over to the bakery, Evan filling me in on how his grandparents were doing.

As we approached the front door of the bakery, I instantly froze.

"Riles? Is everything okay?" Evan questioned, following my gaze to the boys filling one of the tables in the bakery. There sat Farkle, Zay, and Lucas.

"C'mon Riles. You guys are in the same group of friends, you'll have to face each other eventually. I'll be right here." Evan encouraged, holding my hand and leading me into the bakery.

As soon as we stepped in, I locked eyes with Lucas, causing him to stand abruptly as we approached the table

"Not again." Zay muttered.

"Hey, guys. Do you mind if we join you?" Evan asked cheerfully, making me grateful that I didn't have to start the conversation.

"Yeah. You can take my place, I was just leaving." Lucas answered tersely, while still looking at me.

"C'mon man you can't do this all summer." Zay spoke up. Ignoring Zay, Lucas continued towards the door.

I followed after him, stopping him as he opened the door. "Lucas, c'mon we have to talk. I don't like this. Just stay, please?" I pleaded

His gaze softened a little and I took my chance, "We're going to be around each other possibly for the rest of our lives, we have the same friends. I just…I want us want us to be friends." I continued

And just like that the moment was over, "Yeah. That's the problem." Lucas responded quietly before quickly turning back towards the door and running into Maya in the process

"Hey Huckleber—". Lucas was gone before Maya could finish her sentence. "OK! Good morning to you too" Maya yelled after him

Stepping into the bakery and taking a look at everyone's expression, Maya grumbled, "Aw man! I missed Round 2, didn't I?"

"Not much. Just that Lucas can't stand the sight of Riley or Evan or both" Zay joked, instantly shutting up when Farkle shot him a look.

"Maybe he has more imaginary classes to attend to." Maya joined in. I knew they were trying to ease the tension, but nothing could ease the immense guilt I felt. I didn't want Lucas to feel as if he couldn't be around our friends just because I was there.

"C'mon Riles, grab a bagel and let's get this show on the road." Maya added. I looked over to Evan.

"You go on Riley, I'll be fine here. Have fun!" Evan encouraged, cheerfully.

"Don't worry Cotton Candy Face, we'll take good care of him" Zay smiled innocently.

**A few hours later **

"I can't look at another apartment, I'll fall into a year long depression. Everything is either too expensive or its cheap and I just have to give up the burden of my dignity to live there." I groaned.

"Don't give up yet, Riles. There's still one place I want to show you." Maya said, smiling eerily.

"Where?"

"It's a surprise!" Maya responded, leading me down an unfamiliar street.

After a few moments of walking, Maya stopped and turned to me, "Okay close your eyes!"

"Maya, if I did something to make you angry, I'm sorry. But killing me isn't the answer." I half-joked.

"Riley if I was going to kill, I'd be way more creative than this. Please give me some credit" Maya mocked. "Now up the stairs, careful my clumsy little bird."

I walked slowly, holding onto Maya's hand. We walked up some stairs, and into an elevator. The elevator stopped, and we stepped out, walking down what I assumed was a hallway.

Maya wrestled some keys out of her purse and opened the door, "WE'RE HERE!" she yelled, triumphantly

I opened my eyes, and we were inside a tiny but cozy apartment. I instantly recognized it as Maya's from the pictures she had sent me in the past.

"My roommate is moving out in two weeks. And I could use a new roommate…" Maya said hesitantly.

"Before you say no, hear me out. I know things are better between us but they're still some things to work out…some things we won't talk about…and I'm not asking us to go back to being completely co-dependent but I hate the idea that there could still be secrets between us…"Maya rambled.

Honestly the idea of living with Maya sounded great. It was something we always discussed when we were younger. And it felt good to know that even after all we'd be through, Maya still liked the idea of living with me as much as I liked the idea of living with her.

And I felt confident that our time apart in college had taught us how to be in each other's lives without being so co-dependent. We could definitely live together and still grow as individuals. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to divulge all of my secrets…especially about Lucas.

As if reading my mind, Maya continued, "I'm not asking you to divulge every secret Riles. I guess what I'm trying to say is that before we start this new chapter in our lives. I want you to know everything…I don't want the past to keep coming back to haunt us."

"What is it Maya?" I asked, my blood running cold.

"Riles, after the party senior year. You know how Lucas and I kissed?" Maya asked, tentatively

"Yeah…"

"Well we kissed and then we went back to his house…and we almost went all the way…like the all the way…But we didn't, I swear." Maya finished quickly, barely speaking above a whisper

"Is that it?" I asked, relieved. The news certainly surprised me. The content of what she was saying should have angered me. But I wasn't angry at Maya.

I couldn't be angry at Maya. She was trying to show me her growth. This wasn't something she could have dropped in an email or phone call while we were thousands of miles apart trying to heal after high school. Maybe she felt like the timing was never right, maybe she didn't have the opportunity to tell me, but there was certainly one person that had more than enough opportunities to tell me: Lucas.

Maya was still looking at me in shock. It was obvious, she expected me to get angry. It made me even prouder of how far we'd come. She knew that there was a chance I would get upset, stop talking to her and walk out. But she took the risk anyway.

"How do you feel like introducing our new status as roommates at Zay's apartment? Do you know where he lives?" I asked abruptly.

A few moments later we were standing outside of Zay's apartment.

"You know Riley, I'm really glad that we're going to be roommates, but I can't believe our first act as roommates is murder. "Maya whispered excitedly.

"We're not going to murder anyone Peaches." I responded rolling my eyes and lifting my hand to knock on the door.

A few seconds later, Zay appeared at the door. "Maya? Riley? What brings you to casa Zay?"

"Riley is totally going to neuter Huckleberry" Maya yelled, her excitement taking over.

Ignoring both of them, I asked, "Is Lucas home?"

"Yeah…he's in his room. Wha—" I pushed past him, not letting him finish his sentence. I had a mission

I went down the hallway, letting my anger fuel my courage. I stopped outside of his door, before pushing the room door open.

"You have some nerve!" I started, not taking a second to notice if Lucas was decent or awake or even actually in the room.

"Riley! What the hell?" Lucas jumped up completely caught off guard.

But that didn't deter me, "You have some nerve! You're upset that I didn't tell you about Evan, I get it. But you've been keeping some things to yourself, haven't you? I said, practically yelling. "Oh Riley, I want to start a new, I want you to know everything." I fake mocked him., "You're so full of shit!"

"Riley, calm down. Nice to see you too, by the way. It's been so long" Lucas responded sarcastically

"Oh shut-up. We haven't spoken because every time I come into the room you take off like I've kicked your dog or something!" I sputtered out. I didn't want him to be cute right now. We were fighting.

"I think we if we go back far enough, it's you that stopped talking to me first." Lucas retorted

"That's not what I'm here to talk about, Lucas!"

"Then what is it, Riles? Why did you just barge in here, yelling at me and without knocking might I add. I could have been…indecent." Lucas responded, still attempting to be cute.

"Oh please, it wouldn't be anything I haven't seen before" I replied, automatically. My eyes widened, realizing just a second too late what I had just said.

Immediately after the words left my mouth, Zay yelled from the other side of the door, "OH-MY-GOD I THINK COTTON CANDY FACE HAS SEEN LUCAS NAKED BEFORE", followed by the sound of Maya smacking him.

Lucas walked past me, a smirk on his face, and opened the door, "Guys, do you mind giving Riley and I a second?"

"Oh wow, we didn't even realize…how did we get here? I just…is this not the bathroom?" Maya scrambled to come up with an excuse, "ok yeah we'll be in the living room."

Lucas closed the door and turned to face me. "So, what pray tell have I been keeping from you?"

"Do you remember the end of sophomore year of college? When—"

"Yeah, Riles. I remember you don't have to remind me." Lucas interrupted, looking down at the floor.

"Ok. That night you told me that it was your first time. That you had never wanted to go all the way with anyone other than me? Well, I spoke to Maya earlier today and she told me you guys almost had sex senior year, so you obviously have wanted that experience with someone else…with Maya." I said quietly, realizing for the first time what Maya's confession actually meant.

"Whatever that's not the point. The point is that we've both kept things from each other. So, if I can get past you keeping that from me, can you get past the Evan thing? He's really nice, I think you'd really like him" I finished, clearing my throat, trying to cast any emotion out of my voice.

"Is that all Riley?" Lucas scoffed.

"Lucas…"

"I think you should go." Lucas said, opening the door.

"Okay. But we you can't stay mad at me forever. We…You mean too much to me." I finished, before exiting the room.

I walked towards the living room and grabbed Maya's arm. "I'm ready to go Peaches. I'll see you at Farkle's party Zay. I said quickly.

We exit the apartment and the building in silence. The warm breeze greets us, and I feel like I can breathe easier than I could in Lucas's room.

After a few moments, Maya stops me and turns to ask, "Riley, what's going on?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Authors Note: I'M SO SORRY. I truly never understood how people could go so long without updating until it happened to me. In the time that I haven't updated I have: **

**studied for the bar exam**

**took the bar exam exam**

**waited for results**

**adopted a puppy **

**got the results..GOOD NEWS I PASSED **

**started a very depressing and ****excruciating job hunting process**

**cried about job rejections**

**battled depression **

**got sworn into my state bar **

**cried some more about job rejections **

**FINALLY GOT HIRED AND START MONDAY **

**cried some more..but this time happy tears :)**

**its been a long ride but here we go CHAPTER THREE OF NEPTUNE **

* * *

_FLASHBACK_

_I sat down at the table in my room and pulled out a clean loose-leaf paper, writing two words at the top. _

_Dear Lucas. I hesitated, wondering if I should even write a letter at all. But coming to the conclusion that it would be therapeutic to get my feelings out on paper, I decide to keep going. _

_Dear Lucas, _

_You just left my room. Things feel settled but unsettled. I'm not sure if that makes sense _

_I never told you what finally drove me to leave the summer before senior year. I thought the night on the balcony was your moment. Remember when you said that to me in middle school? _

_But then you left to help shirtless Zay and Todd reminded me all about the weirdness surrounding the triangle. Maybe my reaction was rash. But talking to Todd just reminded me of how any moment we shared would never truly be your moment or our moment. It would always be a moment you also later shared with Maya_

_I'm sorry I couldn't say or give you what you needed. Right now, it just feels like so much has happened.. And unless you have a time machine, we can't really go back to how it was before this entire mess. So, it seems like we're just stuck. _

_I do want you to know however, that even after everything that has happened. I still have hope. I think you're right- I don't think this is the end for us. _

_I know that a part for me will always love you, I'm just not sure how…at least not for the time being. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know that I always want you in my life in whatever capacity that may be. _

_Sincerely, _

_Love, Riley _

_It wasn't until the start of my spring semester freshman year when I came across the letter again. _

_My time in California, no matter how short had proven effective in making me feel a little lighter and so without thinking much about it, I decided to send the letter. _

_But as soon as I did, memories of the past came rushing at me, making me unsure and anxious about my decision to send the letter. _

_It's how I found myself on the phone with Farkle, venting to him. Farkle who was finally relieved to hear from Riley after a semester of sporadic and vague exchanges, was probably beginning to regret answering her phone call. _

"_I went away for a reason, you know? I left to California to get away from the disaster the triangle created and then I find the letter and without thinking, I just send it? I throw myself back into this mess?" I whined on the phone _

"_Riley, do you think you'll ever stop being so dramatic. Honestly it was just a letter." Farkle, sighed. "There's nothing you can do about it now, it's sent." _

"_Farkle, why did you even give me his address?! You should have just said no! Hello, the role of any best friend is to talk me out of my dumb ideas" _

"_Really? This is my fault? You asked for the address! I can't do this. Girl talk is definitely not for me. Call Maya, please I beg you." Farkle complained. _

_Tense silence plagued the phone call. After a few seconds of silence, Farkle finally spoke up._

"_Riley? I'm sorry- I just thought you guys were in a better place-I didn't…" Farkle stumbled over his words _

"_No, it's okay Farkle. We're better, I just—It's just still weird to talk her about this kind of stuff you know?" I replied quietly. _

"_I know. I'm sorry. I'm just being a pain, really. Feel free to talk to me about ALL your girl problems. I'm always here to listen." _

"_Thanks Farkle. And who knows, maybe Lucas won't even respond." I said hopefully. _

_But two weeks later, a letter arrived in my mailbox addressed from Texas. It was Lucas. _

_Dear Riley, _

_You have no idea how it good it is to hear from you. It made my whole week, I wouldn't stop talking to my roommate about it. I think he's going to request a new roommate. Totally worth it though. _

_I wanted to pick up the phone and call you immediately after receiving your letter, but I think you may prefer starting off slow. I understand that maybe not enough time has passed, and you still need time to heal. _

_It makes me happy to hear that you still have hope. It's one of my favorite things about you, Riley. Never lose that. _

_I know you wrote this letter after our talk during the summer. I'm glad you kept it. _

_I don't know what force drives us to the decisions we make but I'm grateful that whatever that force is, it led you to send me this letter. _

_Love Always, Lucas _

END OF FLASHBACK

Not a lot had happened in the weeks following my conversation with Lucas. I had moved in with Maya, which had been great so far. Besides dodging her constant questions about what was going on between Lucas & I.

It's not that I didn't trust Maya, I just wasn't ready to start sharing this history between Lucas and I with Maya. If I was being honest, it felt as if a lot of the moments I shared with Lucas, had always been shared with Maya too and I just wanted to keep this little piece to myself.

But besides that, there were memories I wasn't ready to face myself. Memories that I would rather have stay buried for the moment.

But Maya was like a dog with a bone, once she picked it up, she was unable to put it down. So, I shouldn't have been surprised when I found her wandering into my room the night of Farkle's graduation party, hinting at yet another conversation about Lucas.

"Sooo, Honey. Big night tonight? We haven't really seen Lucas in a while and Evan will be there…" Maya started

"Yep. All of those things are true. What is your point? Riley replied, already annoyed with the direction of the conversation

"I mean are you sure this a good idea? I don't really know the history but if the past is any indicator, I'm not sur-"

"Peaches, I'm sorry. I really don't want to get into this right now." I replied, turning to face her.

"Or do you not want to get into this with me?" Maya asked quietly.

"May—" I started, immediately feeling guilty, only to be interrupted by the doorbell.

"It's okay, I'll go answer that." Maya finished, quickly taking off.

I turned to face the mirror and took a deep breath in. Tonight, was already off to such a great start.

Everything Maya was saying was true, I knew Lucas would be there and Evan would be accompanying me. Lucas also made it very clear that he wanted nothing to with me. I knew all of this already, I didn't need the reminder.

Still a part of me hoped that tonight would be the night to put everything behind us. Tonight, would be the night that Lucas would be forced to interact with me, with all of us. I mean he couldn't just leave his best friend's graduation party, right?

"Honey, you ready? Evan is here!" Maya called from the living room, interrupting my thoughts.

"Yeah! I'll be there in a minute." I yelled back, taking one last look in the mirror and bracing myself for the night.

It was obvious I was on edge, making the drive over to the hall where the party was held an extremely tense and silent one. Every few seconds I would find myself letting go of Evan's hand to wipe my hand on my dress because of all the anxiety sweat.

After doing it for the 10th time, Evan pulled me back, letting Maya enter the hall without us. "Riley, I know you're nervous, but everything will be okay. I promise."

I looked over at him grateful for the encouragement. Evan was more than I deserved. He knew every single part of my history with Lucas, and instead of acting jealous, he was here trying to make it work with Lucas and my other friends.

In my entire lifetime, I don't think I would ever find another guy willing to be friends or at least friendly with an ex…or whatever Lucas was to me, especially with the history Lucas and I shared. It was weird, it was a lot to ask. But Evan was here, still trying, without a single complaint.

"Thank you…for everything." I whispered back. Taking another deep breath before heading into the hall.

As soon as we stepped in, Farkle came rushing at us, with a worried look clouding his face.

"Riley! Riley, Hey Riley… Evan… my god! Farkle, practically shouted, out of breath and frantic.

"Farkle! It's so great to see you. This party looks amazing!" I responded cheerfully, opening my arms to embrace him.

Completely ignoring my greeting, Farkle continued speaking at a speed he only used when he was agitated, " I mean I'm glad you guys came. I just…I mean part of my brain knew Evan would be coming but the other part I guess didn't register it. And Lucas, is here you know…"

I shot him a look. But before I could respond, Evan interrupted, "I know, I get it. My presence is bound to cause some tension.

Farkle looked helplessly between Evan and Riley, noting my frustrated expression.

"Evan, no. You're more than welcome here." Farkle started.

Growing ever more frustrated, I snapped, "Lucas is a big boy. He'll be okay. Actually, have you seen him around?"

"Riley, maybe let's get a drink before we start World War III." Evan suggested.

"Yeah!" Farkle chimed in. "Let's get a drink. Say hi to my parents. Catch up with old friends…maybe avoid Lucas altogether."

Evan left to get us drinks, leaving me behind to glare at Farkle

"Okay, I'm sorry. Not the best way to welcome him into the group. I just don't want to upset Lucas." Farkle raised his hands in defense

"Oh yeah. Cause God forbid we upset King Lucas." I replied sarcastically.

"Wow Maya was right. Smiley Riley is in quite the mood tonight." Farkle observed

"One, don't call me that. Two, I'm not in a mood. Or maybe I am. I'm just tired of walking on eggshells every time I'm around Lucas." I groaned.

"Riley, you know, your hope is my favorite thing about you. It's everyone's favorite thing about you. But honestly what did you expect after everything that happened?"

I looked at Farkle silently, waiting for him to continue.

"Look, I'm your side no matter what. But I think Lucas is just handling this the best way he can. So just be patient with him, okay?"

"Okay, I won't try to kill him until later on in the evening." I responded sarcastically

"That's all I can ask for. Leave the murder of one of my closest friends for until after the speeches" Farkle responded, smiling slightly "C'mon let me show you to your table."

I sat down ready to try and have and enjoyable night with all my friends, including Lucas.

Maya looked over at me, concern written all over her face. "Everything okay, Riles?"

"Yeah Peaches, don't worry about it." I responded quickly, catching the quick look of disappointment that washed over Maya's face.

As the night progressed, it was obvious that Lucas had become an expert in avoiding me. He had managed to avoid me the entire night, even though Farkle's parents had sat all of us at the same table.

Right this moment, Farke's parents were giving a speech on the stage and Lucas was nowhere to be found. I took this as my opportunity to confront him yet again.

"Excuse me" I said quietly, pushing my chair to stand up.

"OH MAN, here we go ROUND…what is it now? FOUR?." Zay exclaimed, reaching out his palm to Maya, who begrudgingly placed a five-dollar bill in his hand

"Riley, are you sure this is a good idea? Farkle's parents are giving a speech" Evan whispered

"Yes, and Lucas is missing it because he's acting like a huge BRAT." Riley retorted, before walking away in search of Lucas. She found him in the hallway pacing back and forth.

Riley approached him slowly, taking in his agitated appearance, "Lucas is everything okay?" She asked softy.

Lucas stopped pacing abruptly and turned to face me slowly, "Yeah, Riley. Everything's fine, please just go back inside to Evan." Lucas responded harshly.

I recoiled at the harshness of his tone. It reminded me too much of the person Lucas had turned into during our senior year of high school and worry came over me instantly. I was well aware of the work Lucas had put into ending his difficult relationship with alcohol. And here we were, at a party were alcohol could be found at every table.

"Lucas, have you been drinking"

Lucas laughed humorlessly, "No, for your information I haven't been drinking. We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to run to alcohol just because Riley doesn't want to be with me anymore."

My worry instantly turned into anger. "What exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"Just go inside Riley, I really don't want to do this with you right now." Lucas groaned.

"No, you said it. Can't back down, might as well explain yourself." I challenged.

"What do you want me to say Riley?" Lucas half-yelled, throwing up his hands in frustration

"I want you to explain why we can't be friends. I want you to explain why you seem to… to hate me so much." I stuttered.

"Riley, I don't hate you. I just can't be around you anymore. You made a choice and now I'm making mines."

"I made a choice? Okay Lucas, I made a choice after getting tired of you ignoring me for months. What was I supposed to do? Wait around forever?" I yelled, tears forming in my eyes.

"I think you're forgetting some key facts there, Riley. But that's fine, I don't really feel like rehashing the past with you." Lucas retorted.

"So that's it? After years of friendship or whatever we had, we're out of each other's lives for good. Bullshit. I know us better than that."

"Riley, go back to your boyfriend. We…or rather I was wrong. I know I told you, your hope was my favorite thing about you. But now I think it's the thing I hate the most, especially when its misplaced. I was wrong. There is no hope for us." Lucas answered coldly.

And there it was twice in one night. The second time someone had basically thrown my "never ending hope" in my face.

Maybe it was true. Maybe my hope was the worst thing about me. It was the thing that got me in the most trouble and it was the thing that had prompted me to send that stupid letter to Lucas. And for what? Here we were, all these years later still at each other's throats.

Unable and unwilling to formulate a response, I turned around and headed back into the dining hall, running into Evan in the process

"Riley, hey, is everything okay? Are you crying?" Evan asked, trying to get me to focus.

"I just want to go home, please? I don't want to stay here." I pleaded

"Okay, that's okay. Why don't you go inside and say goodbye to everyone, and I'll wait here?" Evan suggested.

"Okay," I nodded, and headed inside to say my goodbyes.

Evan walked over to Lucas. Tense silence plagued the hallway before Evan finally spoke up.

"Dude. What's your problem? What did you say to make Riley so upset?" Evan demanded

"Dude. You don't want to get into this with me right now. So, I suggest you mind your business" Lucas growled

"Mind my business? Riley is MY business and I get you guys have history, but I won't let you keep hurting her."

"My relationship with Riley past or present is none of your concern. I—" Lucas responded

"Relationship? What relationship? You haven't talked to Riley in forever and now she's back and she's honestly trying, and you won't give her the time of day." Evan yelled, stepping closer to Lucas.

"HEY! HEY! Okay!" Maya, yelled running over and stepping in between the two guys. "Let's take down the testosterone down a notch please!"

"Lucas, hey look at me!" Maya snapped, "Are you crazy? Do you want a repeat of senior year?"

"He's the one who stepped in front of me." Lucas, yelled, raising his hands to point in Evan's direction.

"Yeah, I really don't care, who did what. We're not going to do this to Farkle or his parents. And we're especially not going to do this Riley…AGAIN" Maya added. "Let's go, you're going home."

Maya took his arm and led him out of the hall, calling back to Evan, "Make sure Riley gets home safe and please keep this between us."

Later on, that night, Riley found herself sitting on the couch of the tiny apartment, thinking over the events of tonight.

Evan had tried her best to console her, but nothing he said could stop her from thinking the one thought that was plaguing her since she stepped out of the cab with Evan a couple of weeks ago. That maybe she shouldn't have returned to New York. Her new life was in California and maybe that was for the best.

The front door of the opened slowly and Maya tiptoed inside as if trying not to wake me. But I was wide awake. It felt as if I'd never sleep again.

"Hey Peaches" I said softly.

"Riley! OH MY GOD! You scared the living crap out of me. What are you still doing awake?" Maya asked, still grasping at her chest. "Where's Evan?"

"Couldn't sleep. Is everything okay? Evan is sleeping, but he told me you left with Lucas." I asked. I knew my tone was accusatory, I knew it had no right to be, but I couldn't help it.

"Yeah. Huckleberry wasn't in such good shape. So, I just made sure he got home safe." Maya replied, looking everywhere but my face.

"What about Zay?" I pressed. Why couldn't Zay be the one to bring him home.

"You know Zay. If there's good music and food, don't expect him to go home till they're physically kicking him out." Maya, half joked.

"Yeah." It was the only response I could manage. I was numb and I couldn't really explain why.

"I tried getting Huckleberry to spill the beans. But I guess everyone is pretty much tightlipped on what happened between you too."

"Hm."

"I was just trying to help Riley. I'm honestly just trying to help. But you won't let me in." Maya finally looked at me, tears forming in her eyes as she walked over to the couch and sat down next to me. "Some days it feels like we're back to the way things used to be, but sometimes it feels like you won't ever let us move forward.

I looked at her, too tired from tonight's events to formulate a response. So, I just laid my head on her shoulder and quietly responded, "I know Peaches."

"I won't push you but I'm really trying Honey, please believe that."

"So am I" I whispered.


End file.
